You Must Be A Baby Boomer If You Remember When...

Helms Bakery Truck

•  You couldn't shop on Sundays.  Everything was closed (markets, gas stations, stores, pharmacies, etc.) so that you could spend the day with your family or simply have a day to just relax and/or play
• Trucks would come down the street playing tunes and delivering baked goods or ice cream.  If you grew up in L.A., like I did, you'll remember the delictable aroma that permeated the air when Helms Bakery was baking.
• Movies cost a quarter for children, 50 cents for adults, and the butter on the popcorn was real
• You could walk down the street with no fear that anyone would try to harm you
• You left your back door unlocked
• Milk, eggs, cottage cheese, and the mail were delivered directly into a slot in your house
• Clothes were air-dried on a line outside
• You walked to and from school, even if it was miles away from your home
• There were only three channels on TV, but there was always something good to watch
• You remember when the first rocket into space was launched and watched when a man walked on the moon for the first time
• All TVs were black & white, and you had to actually walk up to the TV to change the channel
• You could make an appointment for an exact time with the phone company and they would show up on time.  There was only one phone company and you rented their phone for $5 a month -- and that was the full bill
• Stamps were 5 cents
• People were polite
• When you said "Thank you," people responded, "You're welcome," and meant it
• Gas was 25 cents a gallon and it was pumped by an attendant who also cleaned your windows, and checked your oil and tire pressure
• There were no tip jars
• Newscasters reported the news, not their opinions.  I still miss Walter Concrite (I had no idea what his political beliefs were until he retired).
• News opinions were saved for the opinion page of the newspaper
• Schools had a dress code
• You sang Christmas songs with great joy in celebration of the holidays whether you were Christian or not, while never feeling you were somehow being excluded
• Doctors knew your whole family and made house calls.
• You didn't need medical insurance to get good medical care
• Medical insurance companies actually insured you -- their deductibles meant something (I remember, when I was in my early 20s, going to the hospital and paying nothing for surgery and a two-day stay)
• You actually believed what politicians were telling you
• You remember when John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Bobby Kennedy were killed
• You remember the first time you heard The Beatles or The Doors
• No one had a computer
• Everyone left home without a cell phone because -- wait, can it be true? -- there was no such thing as a cell phone.  You could actually be out of contact with everyone for hours on end
• When you went to a ball game, you stood for the Pledge of Allegiance, hand over your heart, and sang with everyone else.  You didn't have to stand silently listening to someone else sing it for you
• "Made in America" meant it was the best quality in the world
• There was no war -- NO, WAIT... I've been singing "Let Their Be Peace On Earth," since I was a little girl, and I've yet to know a time when the United States wasn't at war with someone :-(

If anyone reading this wants to add more things they remember from a simpler time, please share

What You Do Speaks So Loudly I Can't Hear A Word You're Saying

 "Standing in a garage doesn't make you a car anymore than going to church makes you religious."

Now, you may wonder why that particular quote.  It's simple:  I just love it and to me it speaks of people who say they are one thing while their actions say something else.

Years ago, when I started my nonprofit for grieving children, I went to a special event for charitable organizations.  While seated at a table to publicize my organization, a woman came by.  Upon reading the poster describing what we did, she clutched her fists to her chest, and said, with much pathos, "I feel too much and I care too deeply to ever do that."  As she fled from our table, I turned to the colleague seated to my left and said, "As opposed to those of us who feel nothing, don't care at all, and do it."

The woman didn't fool me.  She was only interested in her own feelings. Had she truly cared, she would be compelled to act.

This brings me to people who abandon their loved ones at the end of life because it is "too hard for [them]" or they "don't want to remember [their] mother, father, sister, brother, friend, that way."  They are not more caring or more sensitive than those of us who drop everything and show up.  They are focused only on their own feelings and not considering what their presence would mean to the person dying.  I want to be kind and say they are weak or it really is too much for them.  But not one of us finds it easy to watch someone we love die.  And it is even more difficult when we are the ones watching our loved one struggling to hold on to life as he or she waits to say good-bye to the adult child who will never come.

I want to say this to all of you who think you can't be at the bedside of your dying relative:  Go.  Please go.  It isn't easy, but if you don't go, you miss the opportunity to be present at a truly sacred moment.  You'll  like yourself a whole lot more if you know you did the right and loving thing.

Money-Free Guaranteed Way to Smooth Away All Your Wrinkles

Dying.

Yes, you read right:  I said, "Dying."

This year I've been at the bedside of countless people at the end of their lives and the one consistent thing I've observed is their beautiful, wrinkle-free skin.

I hate to think that I have to wait until I'm almost dead to have young skin again.  Seeing people so close to taking their last breath makes me realize how silly it is to worry about wrinkles.   I am fortunate to be able to get out of bed in the morning, take a look at my wrinkling face, and go out and experience another day of life.  Yes, there are wrinkles, especially around my mouth, but I can use those crinkled lips to give you a smile that will brighten your day.  I can use that mouth to make you laugh, make you feel good, or just to simply say, "Thank you," "I'm sorry," or "I love you."

I'll take the wrinkles.  I'm in no hurry to be on my deathbed.

My Dad in Black & White

Ever since I was 12, my father has been visually no more than a black and white photo.  Despite existing  solely in this physical image, his emotional and spiritual presence has guided my life.

Once he was dead, he became the always loving father I could go to for consultation and comfort on any subject.  He never yelled or criticized.  He didn't live long enough to be challenged by my teenage rebellion.

He also never hugged me or kissed me as I grew from child to teen to woman.  He never attended my graduations from junior high, high school, or college.  He never walked me down the aisle.  I didn't miss him at those times and it wasn't until I reflected back years later that I realized I hadn't noticed his absence.  His absence was simply the way life was so I didn't expect him to be there and never felt gypped.

I am now approaching the anniversary of his death.  I always remember the day he died and am probably the only one who does.  But some anniversaries are more significant:  the first, fifth, tenth, and every following decade. 
This anniversary is unique and cries out for attention.  The reason:  my father has been dead for as many years as he lived.  He died at 48 and this Friday, November 20th, it will be 48 years since his death.

Forever young.

Someone Stole My Excuses

Last night all my excuses for the jiggly thighs and hips, stomach pooch, and flapping triceps, were stolen from me by my friend, Susan.  Susan and I are the same age -- well, she is a little younger, by a whopping four months.  There she was in her golf skirt with nary a wrinkly knee and not a drop of cellulite in sight.  Her arms look good, her face looks young, and she has an enthusiasm for life that is contagious. 
How does she do it?
The old-fashioned way:  she works hard and plays hard.  Exercise is part of her life.  Yesterday was one of her relaxed days:  only 18 holes of golf, a bike ride, then a dinner party.  I've known days where she's played two sets of tennis, taken a 50-mile bike-ride, and followed that with 18 holes of golf.
To say she's in great shape would be a serious understatement -- she's in fabulous shape.
If she weren't such a wonderful person, I'd have to hate her for stealing my excuses.  So it's back to the Wii and the 30-day killer challenge, rather than the random program I can select that won't push me to the point of feeling my achy muscles tomorrow.
So ache I must.  All in the service of getting myself back into great shape.
I guess it will feel better to thank Susan than to hate her.

Why Do We Need Medical Insurance?

The focus is all wrong!  We don't need medical insurance, we need to eliminate the middle man by getting rid of the medical insurance companies.

When I was a child, we didn't need medical insurance.  Our doctors made house calls and neither they nor hospitals charged such exhorbitant rates that an operation would break a family's finances.

When I was in my twenties,thirties, and yes, even forties, my medical insurance made sense. In my twenties, I I had surgery, and my insurance covered everything.   Then came co-pays:  they used to mean that when I went to the doctors or had a procedure, I paid the $35 co-pay and that was it.  The insurance company paid the rest.  Not so today.  Today, the co-pay is just the first payment of continuing charges.

And let's talk about deductibles.  Even my car insurance still knows what that is.  For my car, if I have a $500 deductible, I pay that amount and then the insurance company pays the rest.  Not so with my health care.  I have no idea what the deductible means today.  I met the $2,000 co-pay months ago, and I am still paying through the nose.  Add to that, the insurance company decides whether medications my doctor deems in my best interest should be covered or not.  And even worse, they've upped my insurance by almost $300 a month while continuing to decline services.

Here's a good one.  The insurance company proudly says that they care about my health and I'm allowed a free annual mammogram.  Free apparently means that I pay the total bill -- all $1,400, after the hospital, upon realizing the insurance company wouldn't pay, reduced their bill.  The insurance company always boasts how much of a reduction they've managed to get for me and the truth is, we could eliminate this useless third-party, not have the high monthly payments, and negotiate directly with our doctors and medical facilities to get our bills reduced.

The insurance companies are useless blood suckers.  Younger people have no idea what good medical care is and what good medical insurance is.  What we have now is a system so broken the only thing that would help is to simply get rid of the leeching medical insurance companies.

Do I sound upset?  You bet I am.  I was on medicine that required weekly blood tests to make sure I wasn't going to bleed to death.  The insurance company proudly said that thanks to them my weekly cost was reduced from $50 to $25.  The catch:  they were only paying $3 and I had to pay the rest.  I'm so glad I get to keep paying them almost $800 a month before I have to pay the medical bills which they barely cover.

Politicians:  Listen up.  We don't need the insurance companies.  We need good medical care!

The One And Only Secret to Anti-Aging

Die young.